Finding Beauty Within Grief

by Kathleen Horne

katheenhorneI arrived at the Touch Drawing Gathering, not really thinking that one of the themes I would be encountering would be grief over my mother’s passing, eight months earlier. However, as always, when we make space for a deepening and open into the threads that are active in our psyches, what needs to come forth, will.

I could feel, as my TD process deepened, the hovering around of grief. Suddenly, as I put my hands on the paper and began to draw, it was as though I were stroking her face, as she lay in the hospital bed. The tears unleashed, and I continued to draw, drawing after drawing, crying, and in awe, as the series unfolded, taking me to a new place in my grieving process. My head was disengaged, my hands brought forth the wisdom. When I was done, I was done.


Then this writing came.

Grief appears, with an urgent intensity.
Soft, and insistent.
Grief of the mother. Grief of the daughter.
Both aware that the loving angel of death is announcing its arrival.
A space of timeless time, a space between worlds.
I sit, you lie, in waiting.
Touch: the only means of communication.
The deep lines of life vanish from your countenance in preparation for leaving.
Ultimate perfection.
The cycle of return.
The time draws near.
As you are saying goodbye to the Dance of Life
We gather around you, speaking in tears and moans, laughter and silence.
The last Breath comes.
I let you go.
I have no choice.
I bow down before the eternal flame of Wisdom.
Your body is offered forth
Cradled, and at rest at last.
Love Holds.